


Amor Fati

by lady_luck12



Series: When the World Stops Turning [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Future, Drama, Lu Han-centric, M/M, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, References to Drugs, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2020-02-25 22:58:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18711400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_luck12/pseuds/lady_luck12
Summary: (Sequel to Beautiful Perfect People)War is on the horizon. It's been three months since Luhan returned to the Capital City and tensions between Imperfects and Perfects have flared. No place is safe. Luhan has fallen into his role as a Perfect representative, using his position to mask the secrets he's hiding and the plans he's making.





	1. Chapter 1

_When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in.    — Haruki Murakami_

It's silent. The type of silent that you never get in the city, the walls are thick enough to block out even the slightest hum of life beyond them. It's the type of silence that causes you to make up your own noises to fill it, like the radio static hum in Luhan's ears and the rumbling of loud thoughts in Luhan's head.

He's getting his suit wrinkled as he lays pressed against the sofa in the room, the glow of sunlight keeping the room a dim dungeon of second thoughts and stress.

There's a knock at the room's door that makes Luhan sit up. Kris steps in first with Kyungsoo hot on his heels. "How are you doing," Kris asks him, leaning against the wall beside the small windows, Kyungsoo stands near the door. They look as if they're blocking his exits. Luhan remembers drunkenly making them promise to drag him to his wedding if he looked ready to skip out last night.

"I'm fine," he says, rolling his eyes and sitting up from his laying position. "I'm getting married." He says spitting the words out in disgust.

"You were the last person I'd expect to get married," Kyungsoo tells him. "Of all of us, I figured you'd stay and die a bachelor."

"Funny," Luhan says dryly, "I thought the same thing."

Another knock disturbs him and then Yixing's walking into the room. "Everything's secure," he says. "All's clear and good to go on your word, Lu. Any second thoughts?"

He's beyond second thoughts, currently somewhere between twenty-second and thirty-second ones. He'd been repeating the positives of this union over and over again in his mind. It would be worth it. Unlike Kris and Junmyeon he had been able to strike a tentative deal with his fiancee that would keep the pair of them happy enough while he worked towards his goal. Most importantly, it was the only way to ensure that Minseok stayed off the criminally wanted list. Regardless of whatever thoughts currently running through his mind he could not act on them.

He breathes in deep and stands, his hands patting fruitlessly at his suit. The windows in the room are small and so close to the ceiling that they only let in a silver of light at a time. He glances at each male in the room, all unreadable and yet obviously waiting for his cue.

"Let's get it over with," Luhan says at last, walking over towards the door.

********

_The room was grey, save for the dark tinted mirror that faced him. Luhan knew that he was in an interrogation room. He'd been made to expose his wrists for signs of the tattoo but he'd been left unshackled and unsupervised in the meantime. He had wondered when he'd been reported missing, rather it had happened when President Kim had realized he'd left the city or when he'd never shown up to Starfall. The door beside him squeaked in the silence as it opened to President Kim._

_The man's expression was unreadable as he made his way to the only unocuppied seat in the room. "Where were you?"_

_"Nowhere in particular," Luhan replied with a shrug._

_"Where is Minseok," President Kim had asked._

_"Nowhere in particular," Luhan had retorted._

_"It would be a waste of time and resources, but we can find him if we choose to," President Kim had told him. Luhan's attitude would have gotten under his skin by now, but he'd been relaxed. Luhan had been able to tell he had something up his sleeve._

_"Then choose not to," Luhan said voice barely above a whisper. "You can do that can't you? We shouldn't spend time and resources on an insignificant secretary when we've got rebels to worry about."_

_"I can do many things," President Kim said. "And I'm sure you can do some as well. So, tell me, what will you do to assure to me that I'm not willingly letting a potentially  dangerous man free?"_

_Luhan had laughed at that, the sound reberarating off the walls and echoing in his ears. "Simple, I'll become everything you need me to be without complaint. You wanted to use him as leverage, but I couldn't trust that you'd leave him alone if I were to follow you. Now, the playing field feels a bit more level. If I step out of line, you can try to find him but if I don't there's no need for you to care about him or cleaning up loose ends."_

_President Kim had not looked impressed, but he'd never been one to show his emotions. Luhan had been able to tell anyway._

_"You've learned," President Kim had said simply. "Your marriage will be in three months, I've chosen the family." He'd narrowed his eyes then and leant back in his chair just as his smile had broadened._

_"You cross me again, I will make sure you have a front row seat to his execution."_

_******** _

Cameras line the perimeter of the white room. It's brimming with people on both levels and Luhan can spot a few CNS agents in the crowd. His bride walks with slow but confident steps her hair done elaborately with white tassle and flowers tied into the dark locks. The sleeves of her dress bellow down dragging against the floor and so does the hem of her dress. When she gets close enough, Luhan moves toward her, their arms looping together as they face the judge.

Luhan remembers him from the execution, his face is still grim even as he stares at them with a hint of a smile.

"People of Caelum," he bellows loud to the crowd and cameras. "We're here to witness the bonding of two families. Luhan, of the Kim family, and Miyoung of the Cho family stand here today to unite their families into one."

Luhan speaks first, as per the rules of the wedding. His family extended the idea of marriage to Miyoung and Miyoung's family had accepted.

With a deep breath he turns towards Miyoung, attempting to remember the words of the vow. "I henceforth vow myself to you, in mind, body and soul." He pauses, stumbling on the words and swallowing quickly, feeling his stomach turn.

"I," he begins again only to be interrupted. It happens fast and noiseless at first. Luhan's only aware of it from the grunt of the judge and the scream that follows after. A gunshot has been fired. In the seconds it takes for Luhan to realize this, chaos erupts. A second shot is fired, he hardly hears this one but he just seems to know. Luhan pushes Miyoung down, covering her body with his own as watching as legs race around him. The screams are louder coming from more people as more and more gunshots are fired, the sound finally catching up to them.

Someone lifts him up and drags him away from the chaos and Miyoung, pulling him down a familiar set of twisting corridors. Luhan dutifully follows, stumbling over his legs, a dull ache climbing up from just below the shoulder of his free arm.

He's shoved into a empty room, so hard he ends up stumbling and falling on his ass.

"What the hell," he gasps out breathlessly.

"Shit," he hears and looks up to the sight of Yixing. Yixing isn't meeting his eyes, his friend is too busy staring at at his left arm.

"Luhan, you've been shot."


	2. Chapter Two

_To Minseok:_

_I wish I could say I dreamed about you. The truth is I’ve tried to, twice. I took the pills I hate, the ones that allow me to dream and closed my eyes real tight. I called for you in my head again and again, like a prayer, envisioned your touch till my body burned underneath the sheets. I dreamt both times. I did not dream of your touch, nor embrace. I dreamt of your blood, of holding you in my arms as you died. I can still hear your voice in my mind, faint and lingering and so full of pain as it was in those dreams. I didn't dream of you those two nights even though you did appear, I dreamt of guilt. I don't dream anymore._

There's a dull, throbbing ache in his left shoulder that rouses him in the early hours of the morning before his alarm and before the first rays of sun brighten up the sky. Luhan lays in bed, letting the silence and darkness surround him, letting the dreams ease from his conscious. He runs a hand roughly down the length of his face and sits up just as the buzz of his alarm rings through the quiet. The shrill ringing is loud and clear for thirty seconds before easing into the monotonous droning of the early morning news.

With a low rumbling groan, he gets out of bed and crosses the length of his room. The apartment has awakened by the time Luhan gets to the bathroom and the lights are so blinding that he can’t help but squint against them. He gives a whispered command to have the lights dim as he stands in front of his mirror. With eyes wide open he looks horrible. His hair is a sleep-ruffled mess, his eyes are bloodshot, and uneven stubble covers the line of his jaw. He lets himself run his hands through his hair and lets one final groan leave his lips.

Forty-five minutes later Luhan finds himself fixing his tie as his home communications system details his tasks for the day. The system isn’t new, every home in the richer Districts and a few middle-class homes came equipped with one. Luhan had chosen to have his deactivated when he first moved in. He'd grown up with the home communications system weaponized against him, cameras that watched his every move, recorded his every word and reported it all to President Kim. It was only reactivated at the request of President Kim, and as a compromise Luhan reactivated everything but the cameras. President Kim could try to listen in to his conversations all he wanted, but Luhan refused to be watched in his own home.

The guard posted outside of his door leads him to his apartment building's exit where another guard joins him. Luhan can see the crowds of reporters waiting for him, cameras poised and ready, bodies pressed close together. The guards are swift, pushing the crowd aside with more force than necessary, clearing a path for him to reach the car awaiting him.

As expected, Yixing is already in the car when Luhan joins him, and a small smile tugs at his lips.

"You think District Police are upset about being demoted to glorified bodyguards," Luhan asks as the car pulls off.

"What did they do before that," Yixing quirks a teasing brow in question. "I think they're happy they get to push around reporters instead of tracking down rebels. Are you ready to do another very dangerous and very stupid thing?"

Luhan snorts unattractively and turns towards the window next to his head watching as the city blurs pass him. "I've been shot, Yixing. It's exhilarating. I feel invincible."

He can only see a hint of Yixing’s reflection in the glass, even still Luhan knows he rolls his eyes. "Yeah, well being shot is all fun and games till you get a vital organ hit and you’re in surgery for hours. The pain after that is unimaginable.”

_******** _

The crowd outside of Nessen is imposing, the reporters here have congregated in an even larger number. The flashes of cameras are rapid enough that Luhan can already feel a headache forming.

Yixing steps out of the car first, walking around to stand near Luhan's door. One weapon is exposed at his hip, and he stands expression blank and arms behind his back. Luhan knows this tactic, has seen it on multiple occasions now that they're almost constantly in danger. It’s how he surveys the crowd. Yixing’s face when completely devoid of emotion is unassuming, to strangers he looks like he’s lost in thought. With his hands behind his back instead of on his weapon, it makes people think he’ll be even slower to react. Luhan’s learned that Yixing is so highly ranked because of his swift reflexes and spying abilities.

Luhan’s door is opened and he joins his friend, the roaring noise of the crowd growing as the pair of them push their way up the steps of Nessen. Yixing was not incorrect, it's dangerous to do what he's planning in such an open space. The reporters have promised to keep their distance, and District Police have been assigned as crowd control. Yixing had informed him the night before that CNS agents would be on the lookout from every building, but neither of them have much faith in these security measures after what’d taken place at his closed-off wedding. When it calms down, Luhan begins to speak.

"Despite what the rumors may have implied my marriage with the beautiful Cho Miyoung has been postponed. We have not eloped, nor have we ended the engagement. Some of you may assume that this postponement is due to fear, I doubt I'd be standing here so exposed if it was."

Laughter ripples over the crowd, and Luhan catches Yixing's eye roll and grin. This was part of the plan, he’s a representative of something greater, standing there in the face of danger, laughing and taunting those that tried to kill him is par for the course, even if his shoulder still throbs in the mornings.

He continues to speak after the noise dies down. “Rather than allow my wedding to be a distraction from the horrible happenings, Miyoung and I agree that we want it to be a true celebration of happiness, love, and life and thus it will take place when we have completely eradicated the Red Devils."

He stays, lingering and answering as many questions as he can until Yixing turns fully towards him and frowns, and then he’s saying his farewells and goes.

"Where are you going after this," Luhan asks his friend as they step into Nessen's lobby, walking the path to the elevators.

"Check on Yeol," Yixing answers. "Jongdae checks in often enough when Kris is working, but I'm sure he'll appreciate a change of face. Speaking of–"

"I'd rather not," Luhan says, cutting Yixing off. "Chanyeol and I did not get off on the right foot, and I might be okay with the idea of him existing, it doesn't mean I’m okay with this situation."

"Lu," Yixing starts and stops, sighing dramatically. "It's not attractive to be a hypocrite."

"I'm not," Luhan says, frowning, "I'm just..."

"I know," Yixing says, "but Kris doesn't need this. Chanyeol's in a really shitty situation right now, and that affects Kris too, just try to make it easier for him, please?"

"You don't get it," Luhan huffs.

"I do," Yixing presses, all playfulness gone. The elevator chimes and two workers exit as soon as the door parts, Yixing takes a step away from Luhan and looks him over. "Just think about it for now, okay?"

"Yeah," Luhan mutters, eyes on the elevator. He feels like a chastised child even though a part of him knows that Yixing is right.

_******** _

Joohyun looks up when Luhan walks into the office, a cross between a smile and grimace pulling at her lips. Luhan knows she's had to combat both reporters and nosy office gossips these past few days he’s been cooped in his apartment and he does feel somewhat bad about it, especially since she didn’t know what had kept Luhan away from work and out of the public’s eyes. No one was allowed to know that a bullet had actually hit Luhan, by President Kim’s orders.

"Sir, your fiancée is waiting in your office," she tells him as he heads closer to her desk. That explains the grimace.

Joohyun does not dislike his fiancée from what Luhan can tell. She is loyal to Luhan and technically Minseok, and it was no wonder that she was a bit uncomfortable around the woman. She was observant enough to pick up that Luhan had been in love with Minseok and against having an arranged marriage. Not to mention Miyoung flirted like a schoolboy pulling a girl’s pigtails, and Joohyun had been on the end of her rather childish flirting for months.

Cho Miyoung sits at his desk, her hair framing her face and only held back by the sunglasses she has on her crown.

"Darling," she gasps out, standing with a grace that Luhan knows is from her years of ballet. She edges around the desk and throws her arms around him, gleefully. Luhan laughs as he returns the hug, giving her a soft squeeze and letting go.

He takes a seat in the chair the guests usually occupy and lets her go back to sitting at his desk. In her white blazer and matching pants, she looks like she should be working for an entertainment company.

"I'm glad that bullet missed your face," she says with a grin. "I'd have to break the engagement then."

"How could I forget that you're only marrying me for my beautiful face," he teases, leaning back in his seat.

Cho Miyoung is beautiful, she's easygoing, and they have an understanding. She was the best choice, Luhan thinks that maybe if he hadn't met Minseok, he could have loved her. Not in the way he loves Minseok, he doubts he could love anyone else that way, but in the free and easy way he used to love others.

"Have you heard the news," she asks with a cock of her head, leaning back in the seat, twisting it from side to side but not spinning it. Luhan shrugs. The news that plays in the morning is just to fill the silence. Besides he found it more than a bit tiresome to hear story after story of rebels and Imperfects day in and day out.

"This pretty popular underground writer has been arrested and charged with rebel sympathies, and corrupting society’s morals. Her websites have apparently been shuttered and she’s at some detention center for moral corrupters.”

"A writer," Luhan repeats, frowning. He knows authors still exist, but they’re not popular as they were before the Great War. "What did she write?"

Miyoung grins and from that look Luhan can tell that this woman must have written some pretty salacious stories. She leans forward on the desk, eyes bright and shining. "Romance stories between Perfects and Imperfects. There's this one story where the daughter of a high official meets and falls for the son of a rebel leader and they run away together. It had over millions of downloads."

Luhan wrinkles his nose, "Why would anyone want to read that trash?"

Miyoung shrugs, "Trash sells, especially of the forbidden and taboo variety. Lots of young women want ruggedly handsome men to sweep them off their feet and away from their boring lives."

"Are you hinting at something Miyoung," Luhan teases, ignoring the disgust he feels at the thought of those fictional stories. Loving an Imperfect wasn’t just some story plot to entice bored men and women. It was dangerous and terrifying and Luhan spent day in and day out praying to deities that didn’t exist to keep Minseok safe and their relationship a secret. He forces himself to watch as the woman across from him throws her head back and laughs instead of dwelling on it.

"My love life is complicated enough without handsome rebels," she says through her laughter.

"We're leaving tonight," Miyoung states moments later sobering up. "Under the cloak of darkness to make it less likely the rebels will figure it out."

"That's good," Luhan says, nodding. "It was silly to come here when everybody already assumes that you left, but I'm happy to see that you're safe."

"I couldn't leave without saying goodbye to my fiancé and his beautiful secretary, now could I?"

She stands walking around the desk again, and Luhan finds himself embracing her once more. “Stay safe,” he whispers, feeling her body shakes as she laughs, “and please don’t harass my secretary.”

“No promises,” she says, her laughter bright and contagious. “Don’t do anything stupid. I really don’t want to have to find a new man to marry.”

“Promise,” he whispers, despite knowing that he’s already breaking it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The letter thing isn't going to be a constant tbh, but I wanted to try it out. I'm really excited about this fanfic, I've referred to it as the dystopian tale that Beautiful Perfect People wasn't quite a few times and although romance will be on the back burner this time around there will still be some romance in this. Anyway, thanks for reading thus far and I hope you all will enjoy this as it continues. Questions/Concerns or just bored? [ my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/melodic_musing)


	3. Chapter 3

Yixing’s new apartment is a basement level flat in District Three. The outside is a drab grey thing that gets swallowed up in the fog on bad days, the windows inside are small and close to the ceiling. There’s never enough light, the taller buildings that surround Yixing’s blocks most of the sun. It’s not fitting for someone of his status, but with Yixing’s work with the CNS, no one questions it.

The full-time guard he’s employed at President Kim’s request leads him up to the entrance of the building and resigns himself to standing at the door. Luhan knows from experience that there’s no point asking the guard to leave and return when Luhan’s ready to go home. So he’s learned to ignore the permanent shadow he’s acquired.

Luhan’s the last to arrive at the small apartment. With Chanyeol at risk, Kris has been spending less time in the office than he’s used to, and now there’s only three of them. Yixing passes him a cider as soon as he steps through the door, and Luhan takes it with a mumbled thanks, taking a seat in one of his plush chairs.

“Miyoung is leaving tonight,” Yixing says, settling beside Kris, “and Kyungsoo left with…” he pauses and turns towards Luhan, brows furrowed.

“Jongin,” Luhan supplies, swallowing down a sip of his drink.

“Jongin,” Yixing repeats. “That just leaves us.” He grimaces at that and Luhan leans back in his seat, squinting against the harsh glare of the ceiling lamp.

They’re down in numbers and like this, sitting around, planning and scheming, Junmyeon’s presence is heavily missed. He looks over to his two friends, Kris has a blank expression, but Luhan can read the conflict in his eyes, and how his fingers seem to strangle the neck of his beer bottle. The dark liquid shows that he’s barely taken more than a sip.

Yixing’s a little harder to read, he’s always been, and the CNS training has only made him even more difficult to gauge but Luhan can figure out what’s going through his head all the same. Yixing is overwhelmed, He’s been overwhelmed for ages now. He’s dealing with the most, between the CNS and his millions of personal missions, the rebels, the emotions he’s not allowing himself to feel, and their very dangerous, very unstable plan.

Luhan thinks the apartment makes it worse. It’s small and ugly and Junmyeon would have loved it. Sometimes he sees the ghost of his friend out of the corner of his eyes, trying and failing to blend in with the secondhand furniture, and Luhan knows Junmyeon’s spirit presses on Yixing’s heart when he’s alone in this tiny place thinking about all the things he’s gotten himself into.

“We need to be swift,” Yixing says after a moment of silence. “It will only get worse from here on out and you two and the people around you are the most at risk.”

“Father has left the city,” Kris states, “and my place has been built with the best protection in all of District One. We’ll be safe for now.”

Even though he says that Luhan knows that he’s the most pressed for time. Chanyeol has some Imperfect disease and with the regulations enforced in the red light, the black market trade for Imperfect medicines has been shuttered. It’s only a matter of time before whatever medicine Chanyeol has left runs out and then he’ll be on borrowed time. His death feels inevitable, and maybe it’s unfair but Luhan can’t help but hate him a little for that alone.

“That may be so, but there’s still a general danger from home to work. I’d prefer it if you could spend as much time as home as you can,” Yixing says. “They’ve tried going after Luhan and I’m worried they might make you their next target after that failed attempt. Jongdae knows how to check for car bombs now, and assess dangerous situations, but still…”

“Yeah,” Kris says, “with father gone, I don’t have to go into the office as often.”

“How are things with you, Lu,” Yixing asks turning towards him, the tension between his brows easing away just a bit.

They’re moving slowly,” Luhan huffs, the bottle nearly slips from his fingers but he grips it just in time and places it on the coffee table before him. “President Kim… he’s been quiet.”

“It’s to be expected,” Yixing shrugs. “The Red Devils haven’t exactly been going about this quietly. He’s probably planning. I know the heads of CNS have been busier than usual with our efforts split between protecting the cities and hunting down compounds. Just continue working on his good side.”

“I’ve been thinking,” Luhan starts, hesitant. His fingers drum against the armrest of his chair for no reason besides to ease the anxiousness he feels. He’d taken a pill earlier, just before lunch and yet less than eight hours later it was wearing off. He’d have to double his dosage soon. “Maybe… I should use Minseok.”

“No,” Yixing says immediately and Luhan can’t help but flinch even though he’d already expected that answer.

Yixing,” he says, slow enough that it sounds like he’s saying each syllable as its own word.

“No, Luhan,” Yixing repeats standing and walking away towards his tiny kitchen. He pauses at the isle and leans against it. “You’re doing this for him aren’t you? You said you came back to help him, right? How is making Minseok public enemy going to help?”

“If I take the initiative and turn Minseok into a bad guy on my own, it’ll put me so far into President Kim’s good graces he’d have no choice but to move things forward. Now’s the best time! You’ve heard about that author, haven’t you? She had millions of downloads for her books, there’s got to be dissent amongst the public regarding her arrest, and the last thing we need is more sympathizers against us. It makes our job harder.”

“So what,” Kris asks, and Luhan turns towards him. His head is cocked to the side and his thick eyebrows are drawn close together. “You think portraying you and Minseok as complete opposites of her protagonists will stray dissenters?”

“Yes,” Luhan says, leaning forward in his seat. “I’ve taken a hard approach to Imperfection these past few months, and yeah, some people might look at it in a sympathetic light with regards to everything that’s happened to lead to this, but I think this would work best. Most importantly, if President Kim thinks I’m willing to throw away Minseok, then he’ll think I’m ready for whatever he’s planning next.”

“It’s dangerous, Luhan, It could get him killed,” Yixing says as if Luhan doesn’t know that already. As if Luhan hasn’t weighed the pros and cons and revisited each worst-case scenario over and over to the point where sometimes Luhan has to remind himself that Minseok is not dead or imprisoned. “You can’t do this to someone that can’t consent to it.”

“He would,” Luhan whispers but shakes his head and rises. “You don’t get it Yixing. The only people that would truly hurt him are CNS agents and I’m friends with you. I’d have President Kim in my pocket if we go through with this. If he’s found I’d be able to protect him even better than anything I could do now.”

“Lu–”

“Yixing, what would happen if he was found tonight? If one of your agents came across him instead of a compound?” Yixing doesn’t answer instead, he makes a fist and gently pounds it against the kitchen isle, refusing to meet Luhan’s eyes. “I’ll do it without your approval.”

“There’s got to be another way,” Yixing muses. He tosses his head back like Luhan had done earlier as if his low ceiling will provide him the answers to his unspoken questions.

“You said we needed to hurry,” Luhan reminds him, softly as he sits back down. “We’re all at risk the longer we wait around. There are Perfect sympathizers out there waiting to attack us and they can bypass our anti-Imperfect technologies. It’s only a matter of time before they use that to their advantage. You know this is a good plan, Xing. Be rational.”

“Luhan,” Yixing sighs. “Shit… okay. We’ll do this your way. You just…” he trails off and shakes his head, giving Luhan a resigned smile. “Tell me what you need, and I’ll do it.”

_******** _

Kris leaves first, he’d eventually drained his drink and lingered for just a bit longer, but Luhan could tell he was anxious to leave. He wraps an arm around Luhan’s shoulder and pulls him close. “Stay safe,” he murmurs into Luhan’s hair.

“You too, idiot,” Luhan says, wrapping both his arms around Kris and holding him tight. He’d never admit it out loud but having his friend so close, breathing in the spicy scent of his cologne is soothing.

Luhan sips a second bottle of alcohol as he lounges back in his seat. He can feel Yixing’s eyes on him and he waits, but when Yixing still doesn’t speak, he decides to.

“Do you want me to leave,” he asks, looking over to his friend.

Yixing shakes his head, “stay as long as you need. What’s on your mind?”

Luhan’s lips quirk at the question, he thinks it would be more accurate to ask him what’s not on his mind. “Do you think he’ll forgive me?”

Yixing stares, eyes intense and Luhan breaks his gaze to look at one of his tiny little windows. “You forgave him, haven’t you? We do what we need to survive, sometimes it’s ugly and cruel and it hurts, but I think Minseok would understand best.”

“I don’t know the person I’m becoming,” Luhan admits. “Sometimes, I’m worried that the person I’ll become will be so different from the person he fell in love with that he won’t recognize me either.”

“Maybe he won’t recognize that person,” Yixing says, “it doesn’t mean that he won’t be able to fall in love with you again. Don’t doubt a man that can’t even defend himself.”

Luhan nods and stands. Yixing’s eyes are still on him, still so intense. “You are a good person, Luhan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really starting to find my footing with this and it's been fun! It's going to probably be a little on the slow side for another few chapters, but there's a lot to come in later chapters.

**Author's Note:**

> It's the anniversary of a story I started way too long ago and so here's the sequel. I've been sitting on this for a while and I've really wanted to get it out and continue it.


End file.
